Blessed Samhain. The Witches New Year. Mercury retrograde in Scorpio – October 31st.
The question of done. All discomfort has right use and it’s not about being a better person, or lessons, or being more spiritual. Discomfort is part of being human. Discomfort takes us into the realm of the humane. The humane action is what love looks like. New Age thinking and quite a few religions and philosophers, propose we transcend the human condition to reach higher consciousness. Transcendence = out of the body. The humane resides in the body. What is the right use of the kill or be killed we carry within? Here’s a clue: the most tender, gentle, loving people know what and how to hate. They control their actions; not their feelings. Snuggle your demons. If you are serious about changing your consciousness, and the consciousness of the planet, open to the humane within and practice treating yourself humanely. Make it habit, make it sure as gravity.
Scorpio Season: The clash of otherness; yours and yours. Alongside the not so pretty is the soul call and the heart’s need for gentle, for kind. Delicious sarcasm. Rich creativity. Deep bliss. Black velvet. Relating and relationship and warmth. Again, the question of done. Who and what enhances your life and makes you feel good all over? Who makes you laugh? Who’s got your back? Mercury = communication; Scorpio = secrets. High probability of sharing uncomfortable secrets; high probability of uncomfortable secrets being revealed. Refuse to judge self through the lens of the past. Staying stuck, holding fast to what is clearly over, is of no benefit and will suck the life out of your dreams. The dreams that are still a little out of reach but, are starting to take form in the ethers. Physical security and anchors is the feeding soil of the dream.
It is Samhain Eve as I write this. The veil is clearly thin because the dead, namely my mother, woke me this morning at 5 am. When I write it was wonderful, it was amazing, it was profound, I feel like an idiot because the words don’t even begin to convey the experience or the movie in my head that turned on. I can say I was wrapped in thick white light, I can say there were angels everywhere, seriously everywhere, just like when she was dying, and I can say we laughed hard, I could see her laughing, smelled her Chanel #5, images of the best of times bled one into the other, there were no frames, just totality. If you fall I’ll leave you, she said, when we got off the plane. I was wearing a white halter mini dress and 3 inch platform sandals. I said, if I fall I’m taking you with me, and we howled. Last time she laughed that hard she had the cancer and we were drunk out of our minds on green crème de mint. I was in comedy group and we did a midnight show every Friday upstairs at Greene Street. I flew down from New York most every Saturday to be with her and I’d do the show to make her laugh. I’d Reiki her to. Anyway the night we were so drunk on green crème do mint, I’d put on my satin peignoir and was doing my Sunny Von Bulow in a coma character.
I miss having a live mother and father. Momma’s here now as I write this, as is my dad, I can smell the Kool cigarettes, he’s still using his cigarette holder. Uncle John, Uncle Bob, Uncle Dusty, drinking martinis and playing gin, and I can’t stop crying the tears that only a woman of a certain age can cry. Grief and loss for whole worlds long gone and never coming back. And I’m not in a place where I want to think about new worlds forming, or even forming a new world. Mind you I was in therapy for over 30 years getting over my family; at the same time, I loved them so much and I never for one minute doubted they loved me. I also never thought I’d ever be able to see the good in how I was raised; I was so focused on the damage that had been done. It was my focus, my experience of the damage, and my willingness to heal that led me to witchcraft and the right therapist. All of the work I’ve done over the years opened the door for what happened this morning.
The Samhain season is about deep feeling; nothing superficial. Deep feeling always lands me, lands anybody, on new ground, and that ground feels good because it’s honest and there’s something familiar about it. That’s because it’s your ground, you’ve had it all along. You want your ground, you live, that’s what you do, and you practice treating self yourself humanely, till it becomes a habit and you do your art or whatever it is that makes you whole. Don’t let anyone take the wonder of being fully alive and fully in body away from you. Don’t let anyone split your being into pieces.
Love beyond all reason. Kat x0x0x0
Scorpio Season. Samhain, the Witches New Year. Strange brew.
Dark of the moon, Saturday the 26th. Saturn, Saturn everywhere. Banish. Burn. New Moon, Sunday, October 27th, 11:39 pm EST, in Scorpio. Veils are ripped off. See the harsh. Wrap it in love, wrap it in compassion, and let its colors be(come). STOP trying to change yourself. The question is NOT what is the spiritual action; the question is what is the humane action. Vulnerability is high right now, as is a tendency to overcomplicate pretty much anything. Over-complication is about self-protection. Get it? Your mantras for the week: I am not here to please you. And. I forgive myself everything.
Radical, revolutionary self-acceptance. Stop trying to fix the past, stop trying to change yourself. Take pleasure in your evil and your good; your nice and your not-so-nice. Each contains the other and you need all of it. Negative feelings do not create your reality. The next time someone tells me that negative feelings create my reality, I am going to hit them with a bat. And when they come to, I am going to say, you created that.
Of course we can impact our reality, but any kind of orthodoxy that is not mirrored, reflected, or supported by the workings of the eco-system on which our very lives depend, is not of, by, and for love. Lush-no-boundaries-love. We are all the same energy (love) in different form. There is form under the form and form under that, ad infinitum. I am the becoming, coming forth by day I become the night, I become the day, I am the becoming. Skip the dung ball (giggle). And if you don't know what that means read the Kheperi myth.
Mercury goes retrograde on Samhain (October 31). No better season than the time between now and winter solstice to review, to release, grieve, to mourn, to feel restless; to yearn beyond all reason — for what, you’re not sure. James Joyce wrote: "This race and this country and this life produced me. I shall express myself as I am."
Express yourself as you are.
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools. Kat
Art: Gustave Dore (thank you Tina Sams)
Strange energies this week. Emptiness, WTF, now what? This is nothing you (hanged man) haven’t been through before; it will ease in the coming weeks when fire catches in the first. Enjoy the edge.
Healthy boundaries give wings to the person you're becoming. Unhealthy boundaries keep you stuck in survival mode. Some people will never see your point of view, no matter what you say, what you do, even if you're right. Hold still, let sadness/rage/hurt/frustration flow; instinctive right action will bumble to surface, when you're not looking, nudging, biting, smacking. STOP taking the bullet for other people's bad behavior. You are NOT the sacrificial lamb. Last I heard that job had been taken.
Strong need to analyze, to figure your way clear. Mental must serve the beauty otherwise it serves nothing. Detached intellect is not objective. It's a product of envy and envy is about keeping other's (and you) cut to size and manageable. Healthy mind serves instinct and intuition. Split apart and living separate they mutate into ugly. Soul mate love abounds. Either continue to live in the piss and agony of the past, or allow yourself to step into something scary new. Yes, it is an either/or decision. Insecurity can be beautiful because it's about vulnerability. Fantasy and reality come together. Desire, equal parts brutal and tender, and if you're not playing for keeps leave her/him/them alone. Creativity flows. What moves and touches you? What makes you tremble? Real honest-to-Goddess opportunities that will impact your future financial security. Turtle speed, no rabbits.
Libra season. The collective is swimming in the waters of Libran energy. Art comes first, partnership is all, and justice. Contrary to popular opinion, Libra's are not all sweetness and light, even though they think they are. They think they're logical and reasonable, which can be endearing. Or not. Libra’s are air, a mental energy, logic, reason. Ruled by Venus, they’re set up for an inner opposition and tension from the get go. Venus is decidedly not mental, she is beauty, love, sexuality, and sensuality. As per Lorna Bevan, the esoteric mantra for Libra is: "I choose the way which leads between the two great lines of force." Get thee to beauty and feel the boundary of body dissolve for a while. When you zip yourself back into flesh, know you contain all that beauty with which you were just One. Including justice – merciful justice. Get the fuck of Ereskrigal’s hook. She’s tired of you in her underworld and she has her hands full with that idiot Dante.
Do something that makes you laugh out loud. Long and yearn for what you don’t have — yet. Dream it into being. Essence, not form. Protect your inner tenderness and kind; consciously piss on the mean traps set by programmed expectations (yours and others) that have nothing to do with you or your life. This is not the time to hold fast to what was. This is the time to take the hands of yearning others jumping off the cliff with you. You’re not alone. Other, outside; new ways of living and being, forced to surface by flow and flux. The center no longer holds, the God created by man and his kind is dead. Enjoy the edge.
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools.
art: Hilma as Klimt