Daily ingredients - 12/26 - 12/31 - New Moon, Solar Eclipse, Dec 26m 12:13 a.m. est.
Since Fall, people, places, and things who you held true were life and death essential to your dreams and goals have fallen by the wayside and it probably hurt. A lot. Life can kill the shape of a dream, rendering all actions taken to mean dust, but it can't kill the essence. Essence is the emotional wholeness you intuitively know successful attainment of a dream/goal will give you. You don't give up the sane need, the healthy and sacred desire for essence, ever. What you give up is your life and death attachment to the shape of what you're absolutely sure it has to look like.
Think the death card, followed by the fool. The snake shedding her skin. How vulnerable do you have to be to hold still and lose your skin? You have no control, it's nature. How sensitive is the new skin? Think lidless eyes in bright sun - thank you Mr. Joyce. The fool follows the death card. The quest for joy. Smart feet feeling their way along a new path. All essence is rooted in joy - the jagged pain of what must die, of death, breaks you open to know whole joy. Hard to remember sometimes, isn't it? That the finality of an ending you didn't want is in fact the beginning of something new. And no I don't suggest, you skip the ugly feelings or deny their power by saying, "I'm going someplace better." That's something you say when you're coming out of it, not in the midst of it. To say it while you're in the midst of your dark agonies is mental abuse.
This eclipse is about getting out from under personal mental abuse. It's one thing to take an inventory and hold yourself accountable. it's quite another to beat yourself a pulp; to judge yourself, and to continually judge self, according to some arbitrary paradigm, purposely created to keep you groveling and on your knees. You're not on the planet to grovel; you're on the planet to create, you're on the planet to love, you're on the planet to laugh, to cry, to celebrate. To everything there is a season and there is no season called "groveling."
This eclipse is about kissing the past good-bye. Seriously. Write "past," on a piece of paper, kiss it and burn. This eclipse is about new possibilities. Willingness to go for essence without any attachment to shape. You're going to get a great shape, I promise, but you've got to be willing to let go. Listen to Richie Havens singing, "Freedom," at Woodstock. That's the feel of the energy right now and it's gritty and exciting and passionate; hurting and healing and sweaty; beautiful. I love the opposition; alchemy lives in the opposition. Alchemy fertilizes the seeds of the humane within. You are not on the planet to be more spiritual, you're on the planet to learn what it is to be humane and to love self beyond all reason. Spirituality is part of the process but it is not the end goal.
This eclipse, the new moon, all of 2020 is about reclaiming your heart. It's about sane boundary and scorching creativity and right use of anger. It's about FUN, less focus on the internal, and way more focus on external creation. Don't let self-doubt complicate your mind. Willingness cracks the night. Color will come clear, soon enough. Be with people who really hear you.
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools. Katherine Manaan
Art - Albert Pinkham Ryder
Not where you once were, yet not where you're going. Jumpy energy. Impatience. Mars and Sag energies. Mars says, I want it yesterday. Sag says, I'm leaving for the Hebrides tomorrow. Capricorn has a dog in this game. You need to be reasonable, he says. And it's all happening at the same time. When the mean reds hit, lie down on the floor. Kick and scream, hard and loud as you can. You'll feel amazing when you're done and your chakras will be perfectly aligned.
The in-between can feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sometimes that’s exactly what it is, but not this time. Think of the earth in winter. To the naked eye all is dead, but oh my darlings the invisible life carrying on underground! That’s what this in-between is about; the invisible twists and turns, realigning here, changing there, miracles forming, you can’t see them…..yet. You might be thinking fuck this; I am so done with the work of consciousness and authenticity. I’m still in debt, I still don’t have the job I want, I still don’t have the man of my dreams, etc., These feelings are coming up a lot for my beloved clients because of last month’s Mercury retrograde in Scorpio. The thrust of the retrograde was to move people out of their comfort zone by showing you where you were engaged in toxic and dysfunctional behavior. All dysfunction, all toxic behavior, is a kind of survival mechanism. Negating your abilities and talents, putting other’s needs before your own, refusing to see or devaluing your successes, vicious self-talk are all survival mechanisms because they keep you small. When you’re small, you’re not a target. Becoming aware of how you’re hurting yourself is not the time to beat yourself to a pulp, judge yourself unmercifully, or nail yourself to the cross. It is the right and perfect time to get on your side.
Mercury retrograde in Scorpio put everyone in touch with their deepest yearnings and desires. The retrograde quite literally cracked the (no longer protective) armor, and a new piece of radiant self, the self who will take you there, emerged. She (or he) is pure, unformed potential. She (or he) is “I can,” and “I will,” and “I’m going to have a good time getting what I want.” To work with this potential, of, by, and for you, root deep, go dark, and feel the energies of the earth spiraling up through the souls of your feet and throughout your body. Imagine what you want in your life, imagine it’s already happened and you’re living it. When you return to this time and place say, “this or something better.” Sometimes it’s necessary to go for an exact result. This is not that time. Go for the essence, the feeling that what you want will give you, and let the Lady/Lord/Universe take care of the form. The form will be born at Yule.
The best way to work with stress spasms and the free-floating anxiety common to in-between energy is to think about what makes you feel content. Mashed potatoes and gravy? Throwing chicken bones on a neighbor's lawn? Freshly shaven legs on clean sheets? Snuggling up with a small child to watch Moose and Squirrel? Commit to doing one thing a day for the next five days that makes you feel truly content. Revel in the sensation; go deep, go deeper. True contentment rests the body, the mind, and the soul. True contentment allows the heart to break in on itself with sweet relief and gratitude for the break in the battle. Gratitude is an action of love and you with all your dark and your light and your shadows and in-betweens are a magnificent being of love. Love self beyond all reason, my darlings.
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools. katherine manaan x0
art by Betye Sarr