Libra New Moon – Friday 10/16 - 3:31 pm EST
Mercury retrograde – 10/13, 9:05 pm EST
I didn’t sleep at all Sunday night. I had an anxiety attack the likes of which I haven’t had since I was on three different kinds of medication some 30 years ago. I got up, paced, ate grilled cheese, and went back to bed. My brain as Escher drawing danced the screen behind my eyes. The words “old and alone” tilting up and down intersecting never ending stairways, and the old nightmare from childhood, of suffocating, of Satan vacuum packing me, like the butcher at the Safeway vacuum packing chicken legs, edged the corners. Lights on, eyes open, clearly I was not going back to sleep. The tenuousness of sanity, an old theme I haven’t visited in years, poked a claw out from under my bed.
All that is insane is beating the crap out of humanity. Lies and more lies, mixed messages, illusion versus reality and the puppet masters are busy. The energy of the week encourages grandstanding, angry arguments without resolution, and people striking out at each other. Pandemic rage. In some instances, you may feel like you’ve walked into a battle you didn’t even know was going on and you’re the starring bad guy and how the hell did this happen? Snap.
What you want to keep foremost in your mind this week is that you have no control over what other’s think about you, so stick with the people who clearly have your back. Stick with the people who have proven over time to be FOR you: your art, your being, your heart. Stick with the tender hearted, the emotionally honest. Stay away from what I call the grudge based; those who will take whatever you did “wrong” out of your hide for the rest of your life. You are NOT the sacrificial lamb, so get out of the dance. Staying in the dance is not going to give you the results you want. Keep in mind you have no control over what other people think about you. I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s not, and balance even in the season of Libra is hard to come by. The shadow side of Libra is peace at any price and it doesn’t work and it’s not fair and it keeps you in the toxic.
I’m still shaky from Sunday night. It’s going to take some time because I feel like something broke. Something that couldn’t be fixed; something that needed to be broken because it was no longer of benefit to me. I am being told by my friends on the other side that this is happening across the boards – to everyone. It’s a concrete hard belief that’s not real, rooted in a context that is no longer of any value to you, and the result, though painful, confusing, and close to impossible to verbalize, is a type of self-honestly that can’t be bought or taught or thought into being. You’re stepping away from the gilded lily, the illusionary, for true intimacy with self and with others of like mind, heart, and soul. I am told by my friends on the other side that everything that stands between you and treating self humanely is in the process of being burned away. That’s what this week is about, stuff is getting burned away; with or without your say so, it’s happening. In order for humanity to survive, the collective needs conscious, authentic human beings and what the collective needs it will shift to create.
Rest, get outside. Make no plans, go with the day, show up doing what has to be done. Pay attention to your earth connection, to the physical, the feel, the sensuality of body. Do not invest in what man and his kind have created, but in what has been freely given. New Moons are usually about beginnings but this new moon (in Libra) is about release. On Friday, anytime after 3:31 pm, go outside and stand quietly on the earth. Breathe in deep and on the exhale drop a root, Breathe in again, and on the exhale feel all the heavy in your body, fall off your body. Repeat 3X. You might need to take a little nap afterwards.
Your beloved dead are close this week, as are the most ancient of your ancestors. Odd breezes come up out of nowhere, feathers show up on the kitchen counter, pictures fall off ledges, leaves land in your coffee. Lean on your dead, ask for help if you need it. That’s why they’re there - to help. The dead have jobs to do, of love, by love, and for love and you are their favorite person.
“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”
Live loud, love fierce and suffer no fools. Kat x0x0x
P.S. Daily ingredients is now Witch Speak