April 03rd, 2020

4/2/2020
I am a woman who helps worms off the sidewalk after the rain, so they won't be fried in the sun. I stop my car if a turtle is crossing the road, and stand in the middle of the road directing oncoming traffic so the turtle can make it safely across. I have willingly sat with the dying and shepherded their spirit to the other side. I hate drump, kushner and all their supporters. I want the reporters at one of drump's press conferences to stand en masse and say, "you're full of shit." You know you're feeling powerless when you hate someone beyond all reason. That's why people kill, you know. They feel so powerless, they can't live "right," they won't be "ok,"unless whoever's making 'em feel so bad is dead. Rumor has it hate doesn't accomplish anything; neither does rising above. I'd rather have the human experience of powerlessness, rage, and hatred, then the spiritual bypass of rising above. I will not split off from my feelings. All feelings, no matter how ugly, have right use, right action, but I have no idea what right use, right action is at this point. I am witch, I don't control my feelings; I do control my actions.

I cry a lot. I cry because people are dying alone. I cry because doctors and nurses don't have the ppe's they need and the reasons why are nothing but lies. I cry because when this is all over people will be starving in the streets. I cry because the virus is going to morph and this is not the end of pandemics. I cry because of stupidity and ignorance. I cry because i am alone and not young and beautiful anymore. I cry because as most alternative healers know (by this point) the virus has to be treated immediately, before the symptoms show. I cry because the planet is dying. I cry everytime I hear this is a tremendous opportunity for change. I fucking know that, but there's a whole middle you have to go through to get to the opportunity and along the way a lot of people going to die and maim and kill because they don't have the resources to live.
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I want drump, kusher, all of 'em, locked up alive in refrigerated trucks filled with dead bodies.

Off to my altar now to connect with the divine within me and around me. Sharply aware of the world as it is, daily I imagine a world that can be; daily, I energetically connect with others holding the same dream. I hold the two worlds in my heart, watch the imagined world that can be making inroads into the solid world as it is. Energetic inroads catch and hold, they look like lava, move slow as lava, but they are moving and I have slim, numinous glimmers of hope.
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Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools, Kat x0x0x