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Witch Speak – Mid April – Early May 2022

4/20/2022

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Odd dreams, shattering dreams, changing the internal. Sculpting away the extraneous. Your will, your hands, your body, your mind, your heart, reshaping life’s externals. There is no there, but there is an enjoyable, reasonable facsimile — a sense of completion, perhaps exhausted, perhaps joyous, perhaps WTF. A dance of opposites rather than a singular feeling. Take pride in the strurm and drang of the process; your process would no doubt have killed a lesser person. Look in the mirror, pound your chest, and say: “All right me!”
 
MAGICK
 
Saturday, April 30th – partial solar eclipse – in Taurus. 4:28 pm est
 
This eclipse is coming right on top of a resurrection and the freeing of slaves from Egypt. New ways of being, new life. Since the eclipse is in Taurus, it’s the perfect time to take control of your physical/financial security. To dispel anxieties over physical/financial survival: write an ad for an angel. Write: I need an angel to help me see clear of my financial anxiety. Please show me what actions to take to get control of my physical security.
 
Write the ad on a small piece of paper; fold and keep with you on your body in your waking hours. Periodically read your ad. Mull it over in your mind, say it out loud. In the evening put the scrap of paper under your pillow. Intuitive actions will result. Take the actions, even if they’re scary and/or hard, and/or both. If the action is scary and demands more than one step, simply do a little each day. And don’t forget to thank the angel for all the help.
 
“Where there’s fear there is power. Desire cracks open the gate if you’re ready it will take you through…”
 
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Saturday, April 30th – new moon/black moon – in Taurus. 4:28 pm est
 
Chant to Yellow Tara at least one time (108) around the mala.
 
Om tare Tu Tare Ture :Pushtim Kuru Soha
 
If you’re not sure how to pronounce the chant, go to youtube and click on Yellow Tara Chant. You can also put on your headphones and just listen to the Yellow Tara Chant. When you’re finished chanting and/or listening, say:
 
I am One with the Universe
I am One with divinity
I am One with the riches of my conscious and unconscious mind
Well-paying opportunities
Flow to me freely, in profusion and endlessly
Yellow Tara blesses me with well-paying opportunities
And in turn I bless others with my talents and my love
So mote it be.
 
“She changes everything she touches and everything She touches changes…..”
 
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Beltane, May 1st
 
Beltane is a sabbat, one of the eight solar holidays. Generally, witches don’t do big spells on sabbats. Beltane is about sex, fertility, and pleasure; passion and love. The dance of the Maiden and the young God. Beltane fires are lit on May 1st to burn away the dark of winter, and celebrate the growing power of the sun. Beltane is a horny time – do what you gotta do my darlings Wishing you big happy blooms!
 
Given the fact Beltane is a fire celebration, I do a lot burnings. If I had a big yard, I’d invite all my friends and we’d a mass burning of stuff, none of us wanted in our lives anymore, dancing naked round the fire. I’m in my 60’s, as are most of my friends. I see flapping bosoms everywhere. Anyway, for a basic burning, write down what no longer has any benefit, and is taking up too much of your time,  Write it down, be specific AF, and burn it. Do take precautions….i have a burning pot (cauldron) and due to its size, the size of the paper I’m burning is small enough that I will not set my room on fire. If I’m outside with a firepit, I can use a lot more paper. When the burning is complete and the ashes have cooled, scatter the ashes to the winds.
 
I stand in the sun on Beltane, arms out, face towards the sun, eyes closed and feel the sun in your third eye. If it’s not sunny on Beltane, I do the standing sun exercise the first sunny day. You will not forget the way that Beltane sun feels. At Summer Soltice, repeat the exercise, and then again at Lughnasa. Each time the it’s going to feel different. Experiencing the seasons of the sun is worthy experiment and won’t take up much of your time. The resulting knowledge is priceless.
 
“We are the flow and we are the ebb, we are the weavers, we are the web…..”
 
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Mercury retrograde May 10th – June 2nd.
Shadow of the retrograde begins April 25th, meaning that’s when you’ll start to feel it.
From May 10- May 22, the retrograde will take place in Gemini. From May 22 to June 3rd, it will cross into Taurus.
 
Mercury retrograde is what it is. Don’t buy anything big, electrical, and expensive. Don’t sign any contracts, don’t buy a car. This Mercury retrograde is kind of a doozy given the fact it’s in Gemini and Taurus. I find that in most Mercury retrogrades there’s a sting, and the sting in this one has to do with expectations and a sense of feeling thwarted. When I feel thwarted, I get angry. Denying anger is not healthy, you have to get it out of your body, so beat something, or run hard, or do whatever you have to do. Maybe write it down, maybe draw it, and burn it.
 
Chanting during this retrograde will be tremendously helpful, Try: Om Mani Padme Hum or Om Namah Shivaya. Again if you don’t know how to pronounce the chants, you tube them.
 
May’s Mercury retrograde is the best ever for spring cleaning. And I mean heavy-duty-on-your-knees-scrubbing-the floors type cleaning. Do the windows too, and open them and air out your home. As a writer I have more paper than I know what to do with so I’m cleaning out my file cabinets. Not so much throwing away, as organizing. Quite a few people started something new in the past 2-3 months. Not a little thing either; could be creative, could be business, could be a diet and working out. This retrograde is about a step at a time, try to stay grounded in the moment, in the step and that will take you where you want to go. You’re not going to go as fast as you’d like, and the results you want aren’t going to come as fast, but the good news is they are coming and by staying in the moment, in the step, you’ll enjoy life a whole lot more. There’s something about the slow-up that’s of benefit. Come Jun 10, June 15 it’s full speed ahead!
 
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools, Kat
 
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             “The river is flowing, flowing and growing. The river is flowing down to the sea. Mother Earth carry me, your child I will always be. Mother Earth carry me down to the sea…….”.

ART: Helen Frankenthaler
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WitchSpeak: Solar Eclipse/New Moon: Yule Season

12/5/2021

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The solar eclipse and new moon happened, Saturday, Dec 4. We're in Yule Season, in the shadow belly of Goddess. This eclipse was both tower and devil and the being is raw. The Devil is the worst kind bondage - that which diminishes - and the Tower supported the center in its refusal to hold.

The Tower destroys anything and everything that interferes with the cycle: life, death, re-birth. Psyche calls the Tower but it is not an act of anger, but of compassion. When the tower shows up, it completely destroys the frame (devil) holding everything together – space opens, fresh air rushes in and the rocks come tumbling down. All those lovely ways of compartmentalizing this, that, and the other (thoughts, beliefs) within the self-diminishing frame are gone and you’re in the rubble of raw and clueless, thinking WTF?
 
But…..the battle is over and there is relief in that. Eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, have a hot cup of coffee, and breathe. Psyche is one of your best friends. She does not operate outside of your desires, but works with them, and She is particularly strong right now, animating that which is unique unto you. Artists, healers, mystics, those doing the great work of knowing self, can expect life altering shifts, by mid-December, as a result of living empty for awhile. Do not frame it small.
 
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools.
Katherine Manaan

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SAMHAIN 2021

10/29/2021

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The Samhain Letters: Samhain 2021
 
The wheel turns, the old year burns. In the blessed dark we hold the seeds of new life to be born at Winter Solstice…..
 
Holy was never something I felt in church. It was something I felt low in body when I was outside riding my bike, or building dams in the creek near Moss Mansion, or sitting on the beach in Rehoboth, watching porpoises playing tag. The holy’d push outward inside me, deeper and deeper, into forever and safe. Into what had always and would always be. Sitting at my desk in school, in my cheerleading uniform and saddle shoes, I used to think the shape of me that could be seen, had nothing to do with the true shape of me. I still think that way. The difference now is, I live from my true shape, rather than calibrating to what others think, need, or believe.  Some days I’m really good at it; other days not so much. There is always a benefit though; could be alchemical, could be a need for change, could be an entertaining drama.
 
Some will tell you your experience makes you who and what you are. Well, maybe if you’re seaweed, swaying with the tides; but, I am not seaweed and my beloved friends and clients and witch nieces are not seaweed. They’re complicated, many faceted, and know that what you do with your experience(s) is what makes you who and what you are. That’s where the power is. I always think about power at Samhain, and death, and rebirth, and dancing the wheel. I think about love beyond all reason and the dance between the living and the dead.
 
Whether you walk a sacred path or not, at some point the old survival mechanisms turn on you, because your true shape is rattling at the chains that bind her/him/they, yelling, “Hey! What about me?!!” No question, your true self can scare you shitless. No question, wildness, imagination, creativity, love, and freedom reside in the true self. It can hurt to get there but the ouch is worth it. You can either live as a nice little cog in the wheel, whose upset will be determined and contained within society’s approved paradigms, or you can take a scalpel to the fucking boil. Drain it, bath it in copious amounts of peroxide, and give it lots of light and air. This kind of exploration tends to get triggered by the desire to feel more comfortable, to fit in, to make yourself a better person, perhaps more spiritual. But, what’s actually calling you is your myth. Your myth is your sacred tale. Living an authentic life is about creating a world that resonates with your myth.
 
Great works of art are decidedly NOT all sunshine and light. I can’t quite picture Mahler at a Tony Robbins seminar, anymore than I can picture Ryder at a Ted Talk, or Anna Magnani doing a commercial for Charmin. I hold true that gravity is real, diversity is needed and vital as oxygen, and that human beings are great works of art. I am not being Pollyanna here; I loathe as deep as I love. But, I have been doing readings, healings, and teaching for almost 40 years, witnessing and encouraging people to break from what that which diminishes and controls them. I have seen people feel the sacred for the first time. I have witnessed people begin to live truer and truer to self and soul. I have welcomed angels and spirit guides and ancient Reiki masters and dead relatives and Fey, and Gods and Goddesses, into the classes I teach. I have witnessed the sacred/the divine/the light, within and around human beings come together in joy and celebration, cracking the programming that has kept them separate. The great mystery is that everything is interconnected; the mystical experience is the pragmatic, undeniable experience of interconnectedness. It can be a blip on your radar, it can be drop to your knees and holler Yo Avohe! And anything in between. The experience of sacred connection cannot be denied by the so-called rational mind.
 
In the middle of October, I begin to leave out butter, honey, and water for the trooping fey. My home fills with the energy of other realms and beings, and ancestors, and old friends. My father was military, his best friends – he was an only child, they were uncles to me  - were all military. Everyone’s buried in Arlington Cemetery. As I write this, my dad and his friends, in full dress uniform, are sitting on my couch, laughing, drinking martinis. I can smell the Old Spice. Mother is to the side in something chiffon and wonderful. I remember going to see Jackie O’s clothes at the Met. She had nothing on my mother. Mother stands in front the dark entrance to a tunnel, with which I am unfamiliar. She is somewhat shadowed, veiled. My parents’ processes on the other side are quite different. Mother’s is of the dark, I can’t really read it, though she has let me know in no uncertain terms that the relationship I insist upon having with her has changed the texture and path of her death experience, which all started when I gave her, her shadow back. That’s another post.
 
I did StarHawk’s zoom ritual last night and much to my surprise it was my mother who led me to the boat to Avalon. The experience of unconditional love makes me cry hysterically and I was crying so hard last night, I couldn’t breathe. I have never met anyone on the other side who is punitive, even those who were the most tortured. I am going to repeat that: I have never met anyone on the other side who is punitive even the most tortured.  The theme I run into on the other side has to do with what-can-be. Yes, it’s vitally important to uncover what was, but to keep wrestling what was into the ground is futile. Ancestral healing is not about carrying the pain and trauma of our ancestors. The point of ancestral healing is to break the pattern of victimization and set the ancestors, set ourselves, free. The point of Ancestral healing is to break the energetic vibration that keeps us stuck in a past that is no longer, repeating the same behaviors over and over and over. What we heal in present time, we heal in the past. (Funny how ancestral and personal healing dovetail, huh?) Change is rooted in wondering what-can-be, and what-can-be is rooted in the humane. What-can-be serves the humane.
                                                                                                                       
I am wiped out today, a veritable wack job, periodically crying over how deeply loved I am, and the connection I felt last night with hundreds of people attending the ritual. There is a connecting chord, an energetic flow that I share with ALL those willing to love beyond all reason, who are committed to justice and the kind of resistance that point blank refuses to become what it’s fighting. When the soul sheds the body and passes to Avalon, or heaven, or whatever you want to call it, all that’s left of the earthly experience is love, and I felt that love so powerfully last night. Today, thinking about what-can-be, I am more sharply aware than ever, that the power-over-powers-that-be in the earthly world will do anything to stop us from from knowing how phenomenal, how beautiful, and how powerful we actually are. The dance of divisiveness has some pretty strong hooks. Step to the side of the manipulation, the projections and the programming. Remember you are vital and integral part of a giant web of live, living, death and re-birth. I am wishing you the knowledge of that which has always been and will always. I am wishing you your glory.
 
 
Happy New Year Witches.
 

Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools. Katherine

​Art: Dorothy Tanning

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Weekly Ingredients: Monday, June 14, 2021 –  Rock and Roll my darlings!

6/14/2021

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There comes a point in your life when you have to stop wrestling your issues into the ground, simply because it doesn’t work. You know your issues, you know what’s connected to what, and continuing to wrestle more details out the issue isn’t going to do bumpkus, except give you some kind of justification for the reason you feel the way you do. You don’t have to justify why you feel the way you do. The way you feel is always valid.
 
You can’t think your way to inner peace and clearly, just because you understand why something is the way it is, (and it’s toxic and bugs the hell out of you) doesn’t make it go away. If you really, really want something to change, walk the path of the alchemist, and learn to hold the opposites. I hear a lot about higher vibration. Well, given the fact everything contains its opposite, higher vibration contains lower vibration, and aiming for high is going to get you low, the see-saw kicks into effect and clearly you’re loosing your mind. It’s a good thing to loose your mind, it’s a great thing when you think, ‘I just don’t fucking want to do this anymore,’  because then you start looking for something that makes more sense. Rather than a higher vibration, try a balanced vibration, a sweet dance between opposites. Sometimes it’s a tight wire of a dance. The point is…. the true dance of balance gets you out from under either/or programming. The true dance of balance is the result of the alchemical process.
 
The Alchemical Process: A simple exercise….
 
Feel the so called ugly (anger rage hatred resentment etc.) on one side of the heart and the beauty (happiness, joy, eagerness, love) on the other. If you’re having difficulty figuring out the opposite, pick up a thesaurus, or simply google opposite of____ and fill in the blank.
Allow the opposites to press, not mingle, but press hard, even harder, against the other. Ultimately you will feel the give into something holy, something humane, a vibration that has been waiting for you all along.
 
If there was ever a week to burn away the dross, this is it!!! Chanting gets rid of dross, faster than anything I know. I chant, a lot, and usually Goddess chants. But, when it’s clearing time, I go straight to what I call the Tina Turner chant: Nam myoho renge kyo. Nothing burns away the unnecessary faster. Someone once told me, “You’re a witch, you can’t do Buddhist chants.” Oh for heaven’s sakes, I can do any chant I want and I have found over the years mixing chants together has afforded me a delicious joy that I refuse to relinquish.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGSUDRQKFPE
 
The above link is the nam myoho renge kyo chanted for 30 minutes. I chant along for 30 minutes, first thing in the morning, and 30 minutes before I got to bed. I intend to do it for the next 7 days. it’s good magick, nourishing medicine, and even if I get bored doing it, and I’ve been known to, the way I feel when it’s over is beyond worth it.
 
It’s not thoughts that turn things around, it’s vibration. Affirmations are great but if you don’t feel the truth of them, the benefit is largely lost. Chanting changes your vibration, chanting bring clarity, chanting brings me firmly into body and in perfect alignment with the 7 bodies. When I chant I am colluding with the energy that builds mountains. When I chant I am colluding with Love. When I chant I am colluding with soul, dancing the brilliance of my light and deepest dark. Not that it always feels that way, sometimes it feels like, aren’t I done yet? Ha!!
 
Live loud, Love fierce, and suffer no fools. k
art: June Leaf
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WitchSpeak: Scorpio Full Moon – Monday, April 26, 2021 – 11:32 pm EST

4/26/2021

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Significant shift in energy. Sacred masculine, good father energy, good king energy, all are wildly, vibrantly alive. The sacred masculine is only as strong as the sacred feminine. Think about it. Healing father wounds. Fathers healing family wounds. Kore is alive and the Gods buried standing return. Triggered by Kali Yuga, the great and life affirming balancing between the Sacred Masculine and the Sacred Feminine begins. Patriarchy is NOT the Sacred Masculine.
 
The tidal pull of underneath is rip current strong. Water lights other. Questions, more questions, and telepathy more meaningful than words. The honest, overwhelming relief of depth experience and understanding. The Dagda, life - played for fool, and the Morrigan, death - washing the blood from the shirts of the souls, She collected from the battlefield. Life and death, they love, they mate. Alike in their power, unique in their flow, and we live in the waters that ever ebb and flow between them. Give over to who you and what you are – sink into lush.
 
Areas of life that we refuse to shift or change are in focus. From shadow to surface, it’s the way of things and it’s GREAT. Maybe uncomfortable, perhaps insanity provoking, flooding tears and insomnia inducing, but GREAT. Keep in mind the reason you (unconsciously) slipped these things into shadow was to survive. Osiris is the King of the Underworld. His beloved, Isis, is the Goddess of Reclaiming. Reclaiming is about calling in the pieces of self, of soul, that have been splintered off by life. The underworld is home to both shadow and a resting place for souls waiting for rebirth. Think about it. The beneficial power of shadow is immense.
 
The opposites are pressing hard and no they do not mingle for they are equal in their strength and of differing vibrations. Feelings are running wild in pretty much everyone these days, but you can’t keep on looking at things through an old lens because it will just make more of the same. Trying to get someone to understand this, that, or the other, and/or where you’re coming from when they are decidedly invested in NOT understanding where you’re coming from, is a futile battle. They don’t want to hear; they just want to be right. And so do you, but you’re a conscious person and you know this is a futile battle, and you can still want to be right, but a futile battle is just that, futile, and a waste of time and energy you could be using to create something wonderful or maybe just take a nap. This is the take-a-way from the current energies; stepping out of futility, the essence of powerlessness, and into freedom.
 
When my mother was dying she said, “Kathy, your freedom is the most important thing to you, it always has been,” and she was right. I am not terminally unique, we all need to be free, the earth and her people ache to be free, and each of us, in this time and this place, are part of redefining and making freedom a reality. Not an ideal but a human reality, strong as gravity, wherein the health and vitality of the humane and the planet take precedence over all that is made by man. I love being one among many. I love being a link in the chain.
 
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools. Kat x0x0x0

Art: Lousie Ritchie

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WitchSpeak: Sunday 3/28 - Sat 4/3

3/27/2021

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Full moon, Worm Moon, Sunday 3/28, 2:48 pm, in Libra.

I haven't written WitchSpeak since the pandemic began. But this morning I was seized, seized I tell you (!) with: Write. This. Now. We all swim in the same energetic waters, and the energy at the moment feels other worldly; I see soft, sunny, pulsing flow, I feel deep turbulence. Reality, or what is commonly accepted as reality looks the same, the tenderness of young spring beauty outside my window, my cats Finn and DollyMa getting to know each other, but there's still some kind of odd disconnect, a “this is not quite real,” sensation, and thin grind of apprehension. I am not one to skip my feelings, even the so-called ugly ones, though late 20th century spirituality sees them as negative with the absolute power to create your reality. This is utter bullshit. I hold true the witches' axiom that everything contains its opposite, not in terms of opposing but in terms of compliment, and that one without other is useless. The dance of balance is the result and the dance is eternal. No one point in the dance is superior to the other; each step is of equal importance.

There is more change riddling through the collective consciousness right this very moment, than there has been in my 60 some years on the planet. What scares me is the fact that people are becoming what they’re fighting and yet another nasty form of totalitarianism is being born. The flip side of resistance is divisiveness and divisiveness is worked by the will of the powers that be. The powers that be could not exist without divisiveness; it’s key to the maintenance of structural power. Structural power is what I call Dick Cheney power, the power of one over the many – the unmistakable reality that the many live to serve the one. That structural power is coming down is quite real – replacing the old structure with new players however isn’t going to work.

The collective consciousness, of which each of us are an expression, is seeded with the idea that we are vibratory beings with the ability to create our own reality. (This has devolved into blaming the victim/oppressor, but that’s another post.) What is clear is that the best and the worst of mankind (and each side and their followers think their side is the best side) have each other locked in place without a means of transformation. We are living through a paradigm change – from the ideal of mankind to the reality of humanity. What the witch knows is that action without a corresponding vibration doesn’t work, the vibration has to be present before the action, or the action cancels itself out. If I want more money, more inspiration, more justice etc., I have to find the feeling of having more money, more inspiration, more justice etc., inside me first. When its strong, real as Finn’s purr, that’s when I do the spell. You know it’s strong enough when you’re NOT doing the spell as solution to a problem, but because this-feels-so-good-I-want-more-of-it.

A witch seeks balance in all that she does. Balance is not static; balance moves, it swings high, it swings low, it swings ambivalent. Full moon in Libra and the sign of Libra is the scales. Libra is ruled by Venus, Goddess of Love. Something within is seeking right and perfect balance based on a new interpretation of an old theme which is showing up in your life once again. It’s an up and down see-saw for sure, but rather than punishing self and finding fault with self, and thinking if I’d only done this, that, or the other, and/or why won’t they act the way I want them to so I can feel better, ask what is the humane way for me to handle this?

The answer is step away. Take yourself off the hook, and think of one small thing (or large) that makes you feel good, rather than chewed gum stuck on the steps to the F train. To obsessively think about what makes you feel bad, and why it makes you feel bad, and that’s why your life is the way it is, is of no help at all. You’re like a car with your wheels stuck in the mud and getting more stuck with every debilitating, invalidating thought. Let the tiny thing (or large) that makes you feel good (even if it’s blowing someone up) segue into something else that feels good and then into something else, and so on and so on. The ugly stuff is not denied, repressed, or pushed into shadow where it will continue to fester and eventually call the shots of any and all behavior. The ugly is still there, but having shifted your focus onto the complement of other, you’ve taken its power away.

That, my darlings, is how you begin to create a new reality; a delicious, nutritious, fun, kind, beautiful world that makes your heart sing out loud. That, my darlings, is how to work the energies of the paradigm shift and strengthen the New Humanity taking shape.

We are only as strong as our joy, not our pain, not our suffering. Suffering and pain are part of life. I have lived there and left there, and will no doubt return again for I am witch and ever open and opening to all my feelings, shifting focus from one to other, when the time is right. Each feeling holds the gift of power, I dance the connection and know that right use of power is love made visible. Spring is! Rebirth is! We are One in the heart of Goddess, living in the waters that ever river and flow between Her and Her beloved the God.

Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools.
Love beyond all reason. Katherine Manaan x0x0x0x0
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Art: Kiki Smith




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WITCHSPEAK FULL MOON 4:30 AM EST 11/30/20

12/4/2020

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​WitchSpeak: Full Moon 4:30 am EST
Lunar eclipse 4:30 am EST 11/30/20
In Gemini

Eclipse season.

Recalibration. Sharp awareness of connections to people, places, and things that go nowhere. Not all epiphanies are groovy. Acceptance. A sense of being unmoored, emotional, discombobulated. Learning equal give and take. If they’re all take, then stop giving. WTF circumstances outside your control. The pressing need to make a decision – to restore order. Let the dust settle, you’ll know what to do by January. Basic, everyday actions help to root and ground. Make your bed, straighten up your living space. Schedule daily walks. Hold on, hang on, you’re coming unhooked in places you’ve denied/avoided. Hard truths. All of this is actually enormously beneficial, triggered by an unconscious desire for something more deeply meaningful becoming conscious. The end of same crap different day. New beginnings beckon and you’re going to face down your oldest and most ingrained fears. Allow for and welcome a change of context.

Frames contain, the old frames break apart. A rush of air, room to move, breathe deep. Practice shape-shifting and shifting shapes. Take up more space not less. Be more visible. Find ways to play, giggle. Trust, show-up, have faith. Be vulnerable. Articulate confusion. Depend on solid friends. Yule Season is upon us. Saying good-bye to the old and hello to the new. Deep and deeper sleep and sweet awakenings. You are the coming new light, a clear filter, free of the old holds, the old hooks. Luck is normal. Talent is a given. Your unique creativity changes everything it touches. And everything it touches changes. There is room for all of us at the rainbow table.

Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools. Kat x0xx0


Art: Dorothea Tanning 
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Witch Speak: Oct 15 – Oct 22.

10/13/2020

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Libra New Moon – Friday 10/16 - 3:31 pm EST 
Mercury retrograde – 10/13, 9:05 pm EST
 
I didn’t sleep at all Sunday night. I had an anxiety attack the likes of which I haven’t had since I was on three different kinds of medication some 30 years ago. I got up, paced, ate grilled cheese, and went back to bed.  My brain as Escher drawing danced the screen behind my eyes. The words “old and alone” tilting up and down intersecting never ending stairways, and the old nightmare from childhood, of suffocating, of Satan vacuum packing me, like the butcher at the Safeway vacuum packing chicken legs, edged the corners. Lights on, eyes open, clearly I was not going back to sleep. The tenuousness of sanity, an old theme I haven’t visited in years, poked a claw out from under my bed.
 
All that is insane is beating the crap out of humanity. Lies and more lies, mixed messages, illusion versus reality and the puppet masters are busy. The energy of the week encourages grandstanding, angry arguments without resolution, and people striking out at each other. Pandemic rage. In some instances, you may feel like you’ve walked into a battle you didn’t even know was going on and you’re the starring bad guy and how the hell did this happen? Snap.
 
What you want to keep foremost in your mind this week is that you have no control over what other’s think about you, so stick with the people who clearly have your back. Stick with the people who have proven over time to be FOR you: your art, your being, your heart. Stick with the tender hearted, the emotionally honest. Stay away from what I call the grudge based; those who will take whatever you did “wrong” out of your hide for the rest of your life. You are NOT the sacrificial lamb, so get out of the dance. Staying in the dance is not going to give you the results you want. Keep in mind you have no control over what other people think about you. I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s not, and balance even in the season of Libra is hard to come by. The shadow side of Libra is peace at any price and it doesn’t work and it’s not fair and it keeps you in the toxic.
 
I’m still shaky from Sunday night. It’s going to take some time because I feel like something broke. Something that couldn’t be fixed; something that needed to be broken because it was no longer of benefit to me. I am being told by my friends on the other side that this is happening across the boards – to everyone. It’s a concrete hard belief that’s not real, rooted in a context that is no longer of any value to you, and the result, though painful, confusing, and close to impossible to verbalize, is a type of self-honestly that can’t be bought or taught or thought into being. You’re stepping away from the gilded lily, the illusionary, for true intimacy with self and with others of like mind, heart, and soul.  I am told by my friends on the other side that everything that stands between you and treating self humanely is in the process of being burned away. That’s what this week is about, stuff is getting burned away; with or without your say so, it’s happening. In order for humanity to survive, the collective needs  conscious, authentic human beings and what the collective needs it will shift to create.
 
Rest, get outside. Make no plans, go with the day, show up doing what has to be done. Pay attention to your earth connection, to the physical, the feel, the sensuality of body. Do not invest in what man and his kind have created, but in what has been freely given. New Moons are usually about beginnings but this new moon (in Libra) is about release. On Friday, anytime after 3:31 pm, go outside and stand quietly on the earth. Breathe in deep and on the exhale drop a root, Breathe in again, and on the exhale feel all the heavy in your body, fall off your body. Repeat 3X. You might need to take a little nap afterwards.
 
Your beloved dead are close this week, as are the most ancient of your ancestors. Odd breezes come up out of nowhere, feathers show up on the kitchen counter, pictures fall off ledges, leaves land in your coffee. Lean on your dead, ask for help if you need it. That’s why they’re there - to help. The dead have jobs to do, of love, by love, and for love and you are their favorite person.
 
And remember:
 
“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”
(Cormac McCarthy)

Live loud, love fierce and suffer no fools. Kat x0x0x
 
P.S. Daily ingredients is now Witch Speak
 
Art: Picasso

 
 
 

 
 

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Weekly Ingredients: 9/20 - 9/24. LIBRA season. - Smart Crone Talking

9/21/2020

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Blessed Mabon.

Libra - cardinal sign - masculine - ruled by Venus. Light side: fair judgment, balance, seeing both sides, seeing all sides, social, ambitious, works well in partnership, hard wired for partnership, easy charm, killer smile, argumentative, (disagree anyway) wonderful, explorative lovers(!), great friends, and quite often brilliant artists. To be the recipient of a Libra’s tender affections is to be wrapped in one of the best reasons to be alive.
 
Shadow side: Pathological self-involvement. A player; both the men and the women and the they. Mental conclusions supersede instinct and intuition. Peace at any price, even when that peace is a whip to the soul. The fact that someone may not understand Libra’s point of view drives them crazy. How could they not understand? Libra knows they see all sides of the story, and is remarkably effective at presenting their case, so how can someone not understand? Obsessive thinking, toxic-hamster-in-the wheel-thinking is the result and can go on for years.
 
Tarot card for Libra is Justice. Sweet merciful justice. The sword of truth belongs to evolved Libras. Balance belongs to evolved Libras. (as does imbalance) Libra follows detailed Virgo. Libra makes sense of the details and finds the balance. Libra’s do not like the fact that balance isn’t a solid thing; it shifts, it changes. Soul task for Libra is shadow work. What’s been split off? What needs to be reclaimed? What’s the wound and what’s growing out of it? Shadow work is not an intellectual exercise, it’s experiential; explored through feeling, not logic. Logic will get you to the gate, but it won’t take you through.
 
As ever I do not believe that astrology controls the actions of human beings. I do hold true that there are energetic currents worth paying attention to, that can be worked to your benefit, if that’s your choice.
 
Mabon is the autumnal equinox. Equal hours of light and equal hours of dark. What could be more Libra, whose symbol is the perfectly balanced scales? Equinoxes for this witch represents the balance of the opposites; the light and shadow. One without the other is useless; everything has right use. As god-awful as it seems, or actually is, there is always right use. The bleeding key is acceptance and surrender. In acceptance and surrender is the ending, the death. Re-birth follows death, all death contains re-birth, but you can’t skip the death part. You have to own how that makes you feel. Dive deep; breathe it, taste it. That’s the feeling you were taught was bad, that’s the feeling you’re judging and why you’re coming up lacking in your own eyes. Stop. If you’re coming up lacking in your own eyes, your judgment is rooted in poison soil. It’s a plot to keep you on your knees and groveling. What’s truly happening is you are coming to understand your humanity. You are on the planet to become humane, to own your humanity. All of it.
 
The fires in California, the anniversary of 9/11, and then Ruth died. I just lost it. I’m still grieving, and yes there are things I know I can do, actions I know I can take in her honor, but those actions are thematically the same political actions I’ve been taking for the last 30 years and now everything I fought for, laws that were passed to protect the planet and humanity are being destroyed. I am either enraged or curled in on myself like a leech sprinkled with salt. Right use of trauma triggers the search for meaning, for reason. Right use of trauma breaks the perceptual frames through which we see and judge. 2020 has deeply traumatized the individual and the conscious and unconscious collective. Everyday, it seems to get worse. The most effective, healing, and beneficial way I know to work with trauma, from both my own experience and the experience of friends and beloved clients, is through acceptance and surrender. Acceptance and surrender opens the path of right action. Not quite sure why people tend to think that acceptance and surrender are signs of weakness. Nothing could be more powerful because it’s the beginning of walking away. It’s the end of doing the same thing over and over and expecting difference results.
 
As it’s Libra season, theoretically it’s a great time to find balance. But my darlings the scales are see-sawing in the extreme (like Libra does when trying to make a decision) and balance is not in the cards. You cannot impose order on chaos, the harder you work at shutting down chaos, the stronger it gets. Life force is thick with some pretty ugly insanity right now and your task is to recognize it when you see it and not engage. Look out for same arguments, different day. Take a conscious step back, very Libra, and survey the dog fight. Look East. Call the air, call the angels of the air, call the ancient shining ones of East and air. Call the sylphs. Give over to the all powerful energy of Air. None of us could live without air; none of us could live without what has been freely given. You’re looking for something else, and no you don’t know what it is yet but you’ll know it when you quite literally run into it.
 
If there was ever a week to practice restraint of pen and tongue, this is it. This week, tend to what’s in front of you, do the best job possible, and nod. A lot. The entire collective (and the individual) is feeling pretty fucking powerless and in the mood for a fight. Hooks will be baited and cast – avoid, avoid, avoid. Rant to those who love you, who intuitively understand that your rant is a tsunami of your most painful feelings and not a conclusion.
 
You are resilient, you are quite capable of bearing what some say cannot be borne, and if you walk the path of consciousness you know the time for compromise is flat-out over. Maat, the ancient Egyptian Goddess of truth, justice, and cosmic order, is woke. I have been shown that the new world, (individual and collective) will be built on the seven principles of Maat: justice, harmony, balance, order, reciprocity and propriety. We (you) don’t know what that’s going to look like…yet. And getting there won’t be pretty but the love that is taking us there, the ever growing love we feel for one another and the planet, has never been more radiant, more powerful, more connected. We (you) have this one and we’re (you’re) not letting go.
 
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools, Kat
 
 
art: still from shahzia sikander video
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Weekly Ingredients 9/13-9/18: Virgo Season. Dark of the Moon.

9/13/2020

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Energies slow, shift, changing tracks. Pressing need to change bumps hard into Mars retrograde. Nothing feels like its happening fast enough. Virgo season reigns, permeating and penetrating every cell of being. The utter inability to skip the steps of life’s dance. The shadow of Virgo is perfectionism. The light of Virgo is the ability to draw, to cull, to edit. The voices in Virgo’s head are loud and can be quite debilitating = the dance of not being good enough. Threaten or take away a Virgo’s security, that which he/she holds fast to, and it could take 20 – 30 years for her to get over it. It’s easier to bury under than heal, its easier to resent than heal. Healing involves changing the dance of not being good enough. It’s hard, not pretty, and decidedly uncomfortable.
 
Yet, the Angels of Virgo are the Angels of the Witches, and Vulcan, ancient God of Lightning and fire, is one of Virgo’s rulers and the Hindus consider Virgo and Scorpio the signs of initiation. Changing the dance of not being good enough is the ultimate initiation, an arrow into who and what you are and why you’re here. What’s been accepted as reality has been wiped away by the pandemic, by the fires, by civil unrest, and there’s more coming. A piece of the sacred, of the divine, the heart and soul of earth, lives in each of use. There is something to be said about the law of attraction, but the law of attraction does not have ultimate control, the law of attraction is little more than an ingredient. Planetary energies are also ingredients, they do not control, they do not determine. But, when I body surf I surf with the currents. Capisce?
 
The critical voice in your head doesn’t belong to you, it’s an interject, a piece of the culture that’s splintered off into psyche and taken up residence in shadow wounds. Human beings, in their genuine truth, not their programming and their defense mechanisms, are absolutely fascinating. Those who question, who love beyond all reason, who create, are smack center in an unforeseen, unexpected wilderness. You are not the easily definable lost. You are not the mime in the phone booth. You are living through changes, the dying, the ugly war between the ideal of mankind and the reality of humanity. As you heal you take a stand for your humanity. The micro (you) reflects the macro (the world.)
 
Sun wanes and the cool wraps round. Sweet night, all powerful, compassionate night. In dream, you float in the waters of formless, pure potential. Wonder, Ask, Hold the question. You, my darlings, embody all of humanity’s hopes and dreams.
 
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools, Kat x0x0x
 
Art - Raquel Portnoy
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    Monthy and weekly energetic happenings. What to expect, magick to do, and your changing consciousness. live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools....k x0

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