WitchSpeak: 7/17-1/24 Weekly Card: Shield, defend

Hello my Darlings,
 
This week, expect to find your footing after last week’s remarkably intense, super full moon in Capricorn. Saturn (ruler of Capricorn) triggers the not-so-nice and the not-so-pretty. Saturn can trigger deepest fears, profound sadness, feelings of powerless-ness and a terrifying vulnerability. Saturn, though, is working for you. Feelings are not facts. Feelings are great allies and a barometer of what’s going on with you. We are taught from an early age that some feelings are good, (right) and some feelings are bad, (wrong) and having bad feelings makes you a bad person. Nobody really wants to be a bad person so you do what you have to do to avoid the bad feelings, which usually takes the form of rising above, or drinking and drugging to die, or simply denying that the feelings are there.
 
Another popular way of dealing with the so called bad feelings is to try to figure out what’s wrong with you. This is often thought of as spiritual, and the question becomes what have I done to create this. What is my part in this creation? I have no patience with this kind of thinking. The human contains humanity; without the human there is no humanity. Human beings have feelings. Since we all seem to have the same ones, rather than trying to get rid of them, which no one ever can, perhaps we can figure out what they’re for.
 
The question is never, ever, what’s wrong with me. The question is, who am I? Am I a raging bitch? Sometimes. Am I a sweetheart who intuitively knows how to help others? Sometimes. Do I resent getting old? Big fucking time. Do I love being an accomplished woman, hysterically funny and wise with rich experience? Absolutely. There is no static answer to who-am-I because you’re always evolving and growing and uncovering. My therapist Wise Joe used to say, “Hold the question. You’ll get pieces of the answer and then you’ll get more pieces of the answer and so on and so on.” Clearly, understanding is open-ended, not closed, not fixed.
 
Try honoring your feelings. Try honoring the woman/the man who has the courage to have them. How? Go to the mirror and see what the feeling looks like. I’ve been doing healings and readings for over 40 years and I’ve never met anyone whose feelings weren’t appropriate to their situation. Could be shame, could be rage, could be resentment, could be wanting someone’s head to blow up, the list goes on. Interestingly enough most of our uglier feelings are rooted in an old context. Context is socialization- context is why and how you judge yourself the way you do. It’s the big ugly feelings that bring context to the surface. I told you Saturn was working for you.
 
Threading through all of this is a new determination being born. A flat-out, aggressive but quiet rebellion against that which keeps you small. In the coming weeks, expect abrupt shifts, in consciousness. Think unapologetic; think this is who I am, and this is what I’m going to do. Ground and watch this spectacular aspect of self, come to surface. You don’t know her…yet. It’s an ancient kind of healer-as-warrior energy dedicated to planet and humanity. Of course I drew the shield card. In life, there are times when we have to defend ourselves; our thoughts, our feelings, our beliefs, our actions and we have to be rigid as bone about it and not give an inch. Watch for people trying to hook you into a fight. Smile and step away, or don’t smile and run away. You owe no one any explanation for the changes flooding your being with absolute radiance. Stand in your truth.
 
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools. Kat x0xx0

Art: Eileen Agar